Loving You
by amrice101
Summary: After seeing his parents' marriage crumble, Kendall is convinced he will never find love, and honestly, he doesn't want to. But will James be his only exception? Kames songfic and one-shot! FLUFFY ;D


**Holaaaaa! This is a song-fic that is also in my collection of Kames' songfic's called **_**Music to Our Hearts.**_** Corny title I know :p You should go check that out...even though this is the only one up yet...but there will be more! **

**Summary: After seeing his parents' marriage crumble, Kendall is convinced he will never find love, and honestly, he doesn't want to. But will James be his **_**only**_** exception? **

**Disclaimer!; Don't own the song, the show, or anything else BUT THIS PLOT. Oh and Kendall and James are 17 in this. Oh, and this takes place in Minnesota...I guess, IDK. It really doesn't matter. **

**~Kendall's PoV~**

It's a cold, rainy Saturday morning when I wake up from my slumber. I notice I'm laying on a couch, almost falling off the edge for some reason. My next discovery is the warm body that is spooning me, _James._ I breathe in his sweet aroma of Cuda and cupcakes, due to the fact that we had made cupcakes the previous night. I bite back a moan as he cuddles more into my back, snoring lightly. I can't help but let a grin come to my face. I go to grab my phone from my pocket to check the time. When I looked at the phone and saw what date it was, I dropped it onto the carpet floor, not believing what the date was, _December 15th. _The date that changed me and my family forever, 10 years ago.

_When I was younger I saw my daddy cry_

_and curse at the wind._

_He broke his own heart and I watched_

_as he tried to reassemble it._

I was only seven years old when I had to witness the heart-breaking scene. It was 2 a.m and I hadn't gone to sleep because of my parents bickering. It was a weekly occurrence and I had gotten use to it. My mom told me it was normal for Mommies and Daddies to argue, but I knew, deep inside that they were doing it way too much. This argument was just like the others, until it escalated when I heard a crash and a scream. I jumped out of my bed at the speed of lightning and ran through the small, dark hallway leading to my parent's bedroom. When I got to the bedroom door, I opened it slowly, so they wouldn't hear my walk in. I opened the door just enough, so that my small body could see the scene in front of me.

My mom was laying on the floor, hand covering her left eye, as she sobbed uncontrollably. My father was on the bed, his head in his hands as he cursed and cried all at the same time. I could feel my own eyes starting to sting with salty tears. I run from the scene, not being able to watch anymore. As I run I could hear my dad pleading with my mom, "Please, forgive me, I'm so sorry." And I heard my mom reply, "J-Just g-go. Before the k-k-kids hear and wake up."

And that's exactly what he did. I haven't seen him since.

_And my momma swore_

_that she would never let herself forget._

_And that was the day that I promised_

_I'd never sing of love if it does not exist._

Even though it was so long ago, I know she'll never get over it. I hear her cry herself to sleep almost every night, probably because she gets flashbacks of that night, over and over again. I know I have nightmares of it. I think she made a herself remember, so that she wouldn't fall back in love and get her heart broken. She just didn't think love was worth it anymore. Why should I even try? I don't want to go through that depression. So, I made an internal promise to my self, that I would never fall in love. I wouldn't associate with it AT ALL. I wouldn't even sing a love song.

_But darling,_

_You are the only exception._

_You are the only exception._

_You are the only exception._

_You are the only exception._

But...I broke that promise just a month ago, when I realized I had fallen in love with one of my closet friends, James Diamond. He's been my friend for as long as I can remember, and I had been in love with him for so long, it just took a surprise kiss from the pretty boy to make me finally realize it.

_Maybe I know somewhere_

_deep in my soul_

_that love never lasts._

_And we've got to find other ways_

_to make it alone._

_Or keep a straight face._

Ever since that day, I agreed to go out with James. I had and still do have a conflict battling in my heart, to either leave while I can or stay along for the ride. One part of me knew that nothing last forever, and love wouldn't make an exception. I tried to make it alone and bury my feelings for him, but nothing ever worked. I tried not to hide the grin that would come upon my face every time he sang, but nothing, _nothing,_ could stop it. I'm in love, and I can't decide if I hate or adore the feeling.

_And I've always lived like this_

_keeping a comfortable distance._

_And up until now I've sworn to myself_

_that I'm content with loneliness._

_Because none of it was ever worth the risk._

_Well you are the only exception._

_You are the only exception._

_You are the only exception._

_You are the only exception._

_You are the only exception._

I've always tried not to get too close to James. And that day, I was trying even harder. I noticed the occasional glance he would pass my way, but it lingered and that got me nervous. I didn't want it to seem like I was ignoring him. All I was really doing was running from the truth. But, I guess you can't run away from what is meant to be, no matter how much you try. I always thought it would be easy to go on being forever alone, but once his lips made contact with mine, all thoughts of loneliness melted away. I just hope I'm taking the right risk. I hope risking my heart for him is worth it.

_*Flashback*_

_I was sitting in my first period class, Biology, listening to my teacher drone on and on about a whole bunch of shit that I wasn't ever going to need in life. Besides, something else had my attention that period, James. He sat two desk behind me, and even though I couldn't see him, I could feel his hazel orbs burning holes into the back of my head. I was try to make it look natural whenever I would look back to see if my suspicions were correct and every time I did, I would see his eyes quickly flash to the power point the teacher had on the board. I tried to focus on anything other than the fact that maybe, just maybe, the feeling I had for James was mutual between us. By this I mean he was starting to return the secret love I had for him back, and I couldn't have that happening. I made a quick decision to avoid James that day so I could rationalize this whole situation. Or maybe there was no situation to think about, and it was just in my head. I wasn't sure, but that's why I was going to avoid James to make sure, I couldn't take any risk. _

_When the bell rang, I paced out the classroom as fast as humanly possible, without it seeming like I was trying to run away from something, well, someone. I didn't even go to my locker, knowing that James would stop by my locker and talk to me before I went to my next class, like we did every morning, but I wasn't risking shit. I almost leaped down the stairs that lead me to first floor of the school, trying to get as far away from the brunette as possible, just in case he was following me. I turned around to see faces I didn't recognize just going on with their business. I sigh to myself, glad James really isn't following me._

_I start to walk slower, as I make my way to the gymnasium for my next class. All of a sudden, I'm pinned to a wall, to be face to face to the pair of hazel eyes that have haunted my thoughts and dreams. _

_"Why the fuck are you avoiding me?" James spats, his breath ghosting over mine, making my heart beat at a ridiculous speed, making it hard for me to do anything._

_"I-I..." Before I could answer, James takes one of his hands and puts it behind my head, crashing our lips together. I become lost in the kiss, James' tongue exploring every inch of my mouth hungrily, me doing the same to him. No matter how hard I tried to deny it, I have been waiting to do this for years. Suddenly, the kiss stops as quick as it started, both of us panting, trying to receive any kind of air we can, even if we have to share it._

_"Why Kenny? Why did you avoid me?" I take a minute to let my breathing even out before I answer him, him still unbelievably close to me, basically no gap between us. _

_"I was to scared to confront you."_

_"What do you mean?" He asks innocently, looking into my eyes, trying to find the answer himself._

_I-I could feel you staring at the back of my head during Biology..." I trail off, as I wait for him to answer me. He doesn't for awhile, him just staring into my eyes, looking into my soul, taking me apart piece by piece. Out of the blue, he places a light kiss to my lips and puts his forehead to mine._

_"Sorry, I was just thinking on how I was going to ask you out. But I don't need to worry about that now, right?" This completely takes my by surprise the way he said it so smooth without flatter. But why should I be? He's James Diamond, the smoothest smooth talker to ever live. As I think about my answer, I think of a question first instead._

_"If I say yes, you won't break my heart, right?" I hear him chuckle as he places a feather-light kiss to my lips once again, also lacing both our hands together._

_"Of course."_

_"Okay." This time I placed my lips to his soft pink ones, but this kiss being sweet, slow, and gentle, as we savor this moment that changed everything. _

_*End of Flashback*_

_I've got a tight grip on reality,_

_but I can't let go of what's in front of me here._

_I know you're leaving in the morning_

_when you wake up._

_Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream._

I know the lies from the truth. I know that love can be painful and can make or break a person. But. . .I can't let go of what James and I have. It may be love and it may just be lust. Whatever it may be, I can't let it go. I need to hold onto it like my life depends on it and not let it go. But, in the deep recesses of my mind, I know, well, my old self knows, that he'll leave when he wakes up and realize what's going on. The person I am right now however, who believes in love, knows...that isn't true. Hopefully, all of this isn't just my mind playing games on-

"Kenny?" I hear James' sweet voice say from behind me and even though my mind doesn't want it to happen, a smile forms on my lips. I turn to look into his half lidded hazel orbs, the thing that may have made me fall in love with James in the first place. I take him into my arms and place a light kiss on his lips, leaving him smiling that glowing smile. Out of the blue, a question escapes me.

"You love me, right?" Now, James' eyes are wide open in shock. I take this as anger and hide myself into the crook of his neck. I feel two of his fingers dip under my chin to make me look right into his eyes. Emerald clashing with hazel.

"Kendall, I know you've been though a lot with the 'love' department, but you have to believe me when I say a love you, with everything in me. I will never deceive you, leave you, hurt you, or anything like that. I love you way too much to ever do that. You mean to much to ever risk." After the heartfelt speech, he swoops in and places a passionate, slow, loving kiss, all of his emotions being in it as well. _Love, compassion, understanding, and loyalty. _

From that moment on, I knew James Diamond, was my only exception for all the hate I had for love. He made me realize, there really is that one soul mate made just for you. I believe in that now.

_You are the only exception._

_You are the only exception._

_You are the only exception._

_You are the only exception._

_And I'm on my way to believing._

_Oh, and I'm on my way to believing. _

**Doneeeeeee! Yah! Did you like it? I thought it was good. Sorry for my fluffiness :p I just can't help my self when I write Kames, its gotta be cute. Well, review, and yeah have a good life! (I am sooo awkward...) **

**~Angel**


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